So much time has passed since my partner and I spent a week aboard the inaugural sailing of the R Family Vacations cruise. It seems silly that even now, when I make an effort to mentally put myself back there, bring myself back to that time and remember what I was seeing and feeling, the emotion still floods through me just as it did then. Simply put, those seven days were a life-altering experience. But it was just a vacation, right? Seven days in the fun and sun are always great, but life-altering? You better believe it.
For the five or six GLBT people left on the planet who don’t know, R Family Vacations www.rfamilyvacations.com is the company dreamed up by Kelli O’Donnell (partner of Rosie O’Donnell), and Gregg Kaminski. Gregg was a former vice president of a popular gay cruise line, and also happens to be married to Dan MacDonald, a business partner of Rosie’s. You may recognize the two of them from Bravo’s television series “Gay Weddings”. After making a comedy appearance on one of the gay cruises, Rosie made a comment about wishing that they could provide that type of a vacation experience for gay families. The rest, as they say, is history. Gregg and Kelli turned out to be the perfect people with the talent, vision, and know-how to pull something like that off. Rosie, of course, was just the person to “rent” a $3 Million dollar boat for the week. It was a match made in heaven!
Cut to New York City, the day we set sail. I was in no way prepared for my very first R Family Vacations experience. We all convened in a large warehouse-type building to go through the typically long line waiting to have our boarding documents processed and be granted entrance to our floating home for the coming week. Anyone who’s ever been on a cruise knows that this is not a fun process, but a necessary part of the whole cruising experience. It’s hard to describe the tsunami of emotion that hit when I took a moment to just look around. I was completely surrounded by the most incredible families I had ever seen. There was a rainbow of smiling faces, two moms gazing fondly at a bi-racial child, two dads hoisting a kid up on shoulders to get a better view of the balloon-tying clown or the man on stilts. It was overwhelming, every where I turned, I saw familiar, glowing faces. I could connect with people’s eyes and know that on a deep and profound level that they understood me. We shared a connection, a common history. Slowly we all started to breathe out a collective sigh of relief. We were home. We didn’t have to explain anything to anyone about our family structure. We got it. Later, on board the ship, virtually every presenter or entertainer including Rosie herself commented on the powerful emotion charging that room. It was the first inkling any of us had of the week that was to come.
A great thing about R Family Vacations is that they do everything possible to make sure that everyone on board has the peak cruising experience. This starts with booking first-class ships with all of the amenities, and the Norwegian Dawn was no exception. The boat was beautiful, enormous, and chock-full of things to do. There’s always some excitement in exploring the boat, checking out the rooms, and mapping out which restaurants you will visit first. All of that is a given – cruising is just flat-out fun. Rosie O’Donnell, however, takes that to the next level. It becomes quickly apparent that you are like an invited guest on her once popular television show. From the minute we stepped on board we were lavished with attention, showered with gifts and fun give-aways, and there was always, always something amazing to do. Welcoming us to our rooms that first day was a bag full of gifts – free stuff that Rosie had collected to give to the cruisers. I’m not just talking about $.99 stress balls and licorice either. CD’s, DVD’s, games, a backpack with the R Family Vacations logo, a signed photograph of Rosie. It was like Christmas. Oh yeah, did I mention that every night when we wearily made our way back to our rooms, there would be some new exciting treat waiting for us. Forget the mints on the pillows or the animals folded out of a towel, this was fun!
From our very first night on board it was evident that this was no run-of-the mill cruise when it came to entertainment. Sure, the Norwegian Cruise Line’s entertainment staff were fun, they did a good job. But it just happens that when Rosie cruises, she brings along friends. We were treated every night to headliner entertainment. Broadway stars galore graced the stage, there were almost too many of them to attend all of the performances. Famous comedians, Judy Gold, Poppy Champlin, Joy Behar and of course Rosie O’Donnell brought the house down. I can’t even imagine how much money we could have spent separately to even see a fraction of these amazing entertainers, and here they were, just for us on this amazing ship every single day. The vocal performances were breathtaking, no exaggeration. On the last night of the cruise they put on a variety show performance called “Broadway Belters” that featured the likes of Christine Ebersole, Billy Porter, Darius de Haas, and Jeffrey Carlson just to name a few. There were more Tony Award winners in the room than you could shake a stick at. There was literally not a dry-eye in the house. Even if you don’t like Broadway, it was impossible not to be blown away by the talent and energy of these performers.
Now this cruise was billed as being for gay families, and let me tell you, those kids on board the ship looked like they were having the time of their lives. The R Family Vacations team went so far above and beyond the call of duty when it came to entertainment that it’s hard to even describe. Every day there were organized events, from on-deck barbeques with a pirate theme (yes, we all dressed up), to musical re-creations of School House Rock, the kids were never at a loss for something to do. Hanging out at the pool, which is always the heart of activity on a cruise ship, I was constantly amazed as I watched these gorgeous families interact. One fact was always so apparent – these kids were wanted. They were hoped for, prayed for, planned for, and their parents treated them as such. Even the staff and crew onboard the Norwegian Dawn noticed. Before an evening show the captain admitted to the crowd that there had been some uncertainty among the crew as to exactly what to expect that week, and how they were going to take all of these gay people and kids coming on board their ship. Only a few days with us had changed their minds, and he remarked that he had never seen such beautiful, well-behaved families in all of his years of cruising. It was touching. Here were people from all over the world coming together, and even they could sense that there was something special about our families.
Being on board ship was a gay parent’s dream. Every day we were treated to informational discussions, lectures on gay parenting issues, and forums designed to educate and empower us as gay parents. One of the most powerful forums that I attended was put on by a panel of teenagers with gay parents. These amazing teens sat in a half circle in front of a sea of eager parents and would-be parents and frankly addressed issues they faced being raised by gay or lesbian parents. They openly talked about how they felt about being raised in an “alternative family”, what it was like to “come out” at school about their parents, how they handled the teasing and conflicts that almost invariably came with growing up with gay parents. It was inspiring. These kids were amazing, strong, and articulate. Without exception they each expressed a deep love and admiration for their gay parents, and gave each of us hope that even though their ways might not have been easy, the end results that were sitting there sharing with us were definitely worth creating. They fielded questions from the audience, from parents and kids alike. I also found out about a wonderful group that many of them belonged to called COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere). It offered these teens a chance to connect with other children of GLBT parents, and share experiences and support one another no matter where in the world they are. For more information on this organization Click Here. It was an amazing, growing experience and everyone who left that room that day left as better people, and better parents.
So, even though I’ve gone on and on about being on board this extraordinary ship, please don’t get the idea that we didn’t go to amazing places and have tremendous off-ship adventures. We did. In fact, R Family Vacations has gone out of their way to choose some terrific destinations, from exotically tropical, to gazing at glaciers and everything in between. Just because I’m not discussing the destinations (because they change for each trip they do), don’t think they aren’t worth seeing. It’s just that once you spend time on a trip like this, the things you saw or did aren’t nearly as important as who you met, how you felt, and what connections you made. This trip was a life-changing event in every way. Whether you like to cruise or not (and R Family Vacations has even offered some land-based vacations) you owe it to yourself and your family to have this experience at least once. I guarantee you, you will not be disappointed. You will forge connections with people that will last far longer than your Visa bill will. So go ahead, spend a week with R Family Vacations, and see what the world could be, and should be. You deserve it.
